Marriage is a noble institution

SHARE   |   Monday, 14 September 2015   |   By Andrew Onalenna Sesinyi


This morning on a popular radio show, I chose to switch off my radio to avoid early morning contamination when I heard losers making disparaging remarks about the institution of marriage and putting up ill-informed statistics about divorces vis-a-vis sustained marriages. People who have commitment issues enjoy creating the impression that they are not into marriage because it is not working for others. That is escapism, that is spurious & that is testimony to the pathetic personal failure of such people to commit to relationships. The reason why divorces get publicity more than sustained marriages is because failure, no matter how small the percentage, is always a factor for announcement; divorces are pronounced publicly in the courts etc. Nobody announces a successful marriage because society treats it as normal & hence not news worthy. No man or woman is complete unless they have committed or wish they could to commit to a relationship, and better, have it culminating in a marriage. If the marriage doesnt work & one divorces, this is no testimony for the general failure of marriages- it is an individual setback that most recover from, love again, commit again & marry again. Putting up bogus statistics of divorces or failed marriages as a way of suggesting that marriage is not a worthwhile pursuit, is the work of selfish cowards who cannot withstand the sharing and giving and commitment that comes with marriage. Marriage is a choice yes, and if people choose not to marry, that is their entitlement, but they should not hide behind failed attempts by others to find and retain love. Marriage is a microcosm of commitment to be a society, a community, a trusted entity. Yes, it is hard work to maintain & sustain a marriage and that is why it is not a feat for the hoggish, miserly & narrow-minded who use the divorce rate to justify their lack of commitment to a dyad (group of two, couple, pair). Divorcees are brave, responsible & unselfish people who must be congratulated for having had a shot at relationship commitment & they will and should try & try again. Look, we have people dying during physical exercise but that is no reason for obese people to refuse to exercise quoting statistics of those that died exercising! We work for money with the hope of abundance but even though for most of us it is a lifetime of work without attaining abundance, we cannot justify staying home without work justifying it on the statistics of those that worked for a lifetime without accumulating enough wealth. Responsibility is about failure, perseverance, trying and trying again. Success is a relative deduction of how much you lived trying to be responsible. Throw away those bogus statistics you losers, and join the majority of loving people who keep trying to live with love & commitment even though it is hard. Cohabitation is not a recent phenomenon just like bachelorhood and spinsterhood, but these are minority statistics consisting largely of people who still nurture the hope of meeting the love of their life...and they will, if they ignore cowardly detractors who just want to live for themselves. No matter what age you are, you can still meet the love of your life and commit to a relationship. If you cannot find a partner, but wish to, do not be too hard on yourself. Wishing and trying are good enough.
Andrew Onalenna Sesinyi
Gaborone



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