Preheat the oven of my brain to its maximum degree. Be careful not to overcook it for I long its purpose until Christ calls me home. Until everything is fine like it was before. Until ... I do not know, either. Please, do not blame me. I will tell you why. There is a deadly war going between the soul and endless sayings of mankind. Battling daily with intimidating rhetoric of men; Rhythm chains that lacerates within the chills of my skin, bubbles of goose bumps form voluntarily. A combat that many do not make it to the first lap of the race! Stop pacing back and forth and just face the cold facts. Life started as a blooming rose with colours that grew without being forced. Rains came and made the dry scalped, which dressed the land to disappear like blown away sandy soil in an unknown river. Smiles easily came to view and snapshots were photographed. Yes! Fine memories were kept. I remember when grandfather and grandmother would hold hands and dance their legs to the jingles bells tunes. I would have surely given them a 'bells' if I could. There was never a dark room found, but plenty of rooms incorporated with heaven lights. Angels surrounding and guarding made the place holy. It allowed us to take a look at everything that we wished to bring to our sight. Then, everything turned sour, like lemonade homemade refreshment when Lucifer decided to take time and go on a vacation on our streets to put us in vain and ruined every little last thing that we had worked hard for. Leaving our foundation in small pieces and cared less when it came crumbling down. No one had the audacity or burning desire to catch it. No one! The pain is gazing upon her as it pounds and tick, tick, tick it strikes again bringing upon unbearable emotions and endless pains as the sharp blade is introduced in the uterus lining. Whether she likes it or not, she has to dance to the painful music and endure this deep and bizarre pain for weeks, months and years or even worse, on a daily basis. Endometriosis is a chronic disorder which affects women and the worst part is that they cannot see it but they can feel the exhausting pain and it is more like living with an invisible illness. It is a painful disorder in which tissue that normally grows inside the uterus grows outside it. The debilitating and raw period pains that some people have put in a nutshell to say, "Having menstrual pains is not an illness, it is just that you are being lazy." Some explain that, period pains are part of a woman's life and the expectation is for one to live with it and pretend as if life is just normal. As the severe pain continues the tears roll down on one's cheeks, forced to skip school or work and staying in bed all day long or maybe sometimes one has the strength to visit a local clinic and all they do is to take your temperature and give you the normal tablets that we know and if it is not "Panado" it is "Paracetamol' and then life just has to find its way while the poor "she" has to suffer horrendously. This is because very little is known about Endometriosis disorder plus research shows that the disorder is very difficult to diagnose. The moment it triggers like a gun, one would swear with the Gods using Christ's cross to immediately trade the pain with anything existing in the world. "Please, just grant me few minutes to be at peace without this monster in me; it is all I want for now." She would probably kneel down with such words coming out of her mouth. Very sad! Right? Victims of the illness go on and on as they have not been given a chance or choice but to surrender themselves like defeated war – partakers to the brutal pain.
Helplessly, groaning on the bed, with sweat making its way in to join the watery eyes. Portions of pills probably have been prescribed but to overdose is not an option as it creates more space for disaster which waits to happen. Still, my beloved daughter cries again and again. She asks on numerous occasions, "mother nature, when will it all end?" An article which was medically reviewed by Nicole Galan on 16 November 2015 which somehow caught my attention states that Endometriosis symptoms usually vary but having crippling period pains, pain in the lower abdomen before and after during menstruation, heavy menstrual bleeding and infertility can be associated with this disorder. Endometriosis does not discriminate and in simple terms it does not matter what age are you, where you come from, rich or poor, intelligent or dumb and in most hurtful cases it can attack one if she gets to experience her first periods and that is really sad and quite a torture. Endmetriosis disorder might be an illness which affects women only but that does not necessarily mean that men cannot take part in raising awareness of this disorder and offer their sincere support and devotion to women because together we can achieve our most desired goal. Somehow or another it also affects them so they should at least show empathy and a little bit of caring. Woman! Don’t suffer the swollen silence alone and suffering should not define you as a woman and it is up to you and your biggest responsibility to change that mentality and use it to inspire many women out there. Be calm, firm and bold and try to keep your head above the water. The feelings of depression, anxiety and emotional pain engulfs and takes control of your life but as a strong woman know that you are not an ordinary woman but a loveliest masterpiece of God and all you have to do is to find your strength and happiness. The longest night will have an end and accidents do happen in life so be confident enough to bite the bullet and not allow this illness to be a black cloud hanging over your life. Women, who suffer from Endometriosis, should not allow the disorder to define who they are because they are also human beings like any other. They should engage themselves in healthy pleasurable activities like sports talking to someone whom they trust and the most important part is for us "ladies" to have frequent gynaecologist check-ups. Woman you are strong, created in God's image. A holder of dreams a true exceptional woman! Endometriosis is not a death sentence, be strong, gentle and pure for many look up to you. Your story will inspire others; don’t lose hope yet because one day the cure will be found from where it is hiding and you shall shout from the rooftops as the feeling of delectation and content-ness takes its course. I am here now striving to leave my footprints with a clear message to all with the knowledge that I did something and I am leaving that "something" to someone out there. Hardships come through but the old adage tells us that there is always light at the end of a tunnel. Woman be strong for it will keep you alive. I put myself in your shoes and the pain you feel every day; the thought you have of people not understanding what you go through almost every day, I know that too. It hurts but many do not know how much it does? My beloved daughter cries. It pains so much.
Lisa Bokani Motsu